baby-scars:

yahoo is going to delete every blog that doesn’t reblog my selfies sorry i don’t make the rules

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

sacaswagea:

immergerd:

sacaswagea:

“if ur ready CUM and get it”

haha only 18+ will get this one. :PPP

I’m younger than eighteen and I get the joke. Btw, you’re really only supposed to use numbers instead of spelling out the word after one hundred. Or, to be grammatically correct, 100. You’re eighteen, you should know this.

is this real life

fishingboatproceeds:

bbc-bestbromancecompany:

Nerdfighter Benedict? Or just failed Vulcan?

As far as I can tell, there are eight possibilities here. (I’ve spent a fair bit of time thinking about this.)

1. Benedict Cumberbatch is a hardcore nerdfighter and when Martin Freeman threw up a gang sign, Cumberbatch was like, “I have one of those.”

2. Cumberbatch, who obviously has a relationship with Star Trek, just naturally adapted the Vulcan sign (pulling in the thumbs, turning the palms inward, crossing the arms) in precisely the same way that I happened to adapt the Vulcan sign when I first made the nerdfighter sign in the halcyon days of 2007.

3. One of the interns on set who has gained the trust of Benedict Cumberbatch was like, “If you do your hands like this, the Internet will get really excited.” And so he did.

4. BBC, in their infinite wisdom, staged the entire photo and Cumberbatch was taught the nerdfighter sign (I MEAN LOOK AT THE PERFECTION OF HIS NERDFIGHTER SIGN! He seems so comfortable and confident in it, almost as if it is muscle memory, almost as if he has flashed it to his laptop screen on hundreds of occasions in the past, but I digress) and this photograph was staged to get people psyched for Sherlock, although what tiny segment of nerdfighteria is not already psyched for Sherlock? Also, if this is the case, who is Martin Freeman trying to advertise to? Residents of the West Side?

5. Benedict Cumberbatch has a relative or a friend who is a nerdfighter and so he is passingly familiar with nerdfighteria and liked what he has seen and wanted to make us all very happy.

6. The nerdfighter sign also happens to be the hand sign of some obscure English gang with which I am unfamiliar called like The East London Wanderers or The Slightly Intimidating Liverpudlians or whatever.

7. Nerdfighteria actually figures in the plot of the new season of Sherlock. Perhaps a nerdfighter has been (wrongly no doubt!) accused of a murder.

8. Benedict Cumberbatch was playing some kind of British version of Rock Paper Scissors against two invisible opponents, and he went double scissors (as any smart person would).

dampsandwich:

vagisodium:

dampsandwich:

im not 21 please dont say the A word around me.

anchovies

great im going to be grounded now i hope your happy

grunkfield:

im crying bc i just read an article saying that bieber literally called his manager at 3 am to say he decided that it should be spelled swaggy instead of swaggie

"Maybe if your dick was thicker than your goddamn eyebrows we wouldn’t be having this conversation"

— Gay couple arguing outside Walmart (via twinkmob)

torsos:

i don’t give blowjobs i give blowcareers

• person:  wanna hear a funny story?
• me:  no
• person:  *tells story anyway*

nishlo:

nishlo:

CARTOONIST FOUND DEAD IN HIS APARTMENT

DETAILS ARE SKETCHY

beyoncebeytwice:

when attractive people compliment me on things i get suspicious because remember when regina george complimented that one girl on her skirt

dylanobylan:

i’m glad we don’t have To hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live